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I was at my mom's place and my mom points at her new bookcase. It's filled with small things like gifts from kids and grandchildren.

"See, that one?" she asks and points at an old, large jam jar. It's been painted yellow, green and blue. Not painted well and I remember seeing it at my mom's old place. Just being used for pens and random stuff. "Canan painted that."

We almost never talk about my half-sister. She died in 2001, she would have been 26 years old now.

"I told your dad," my mom says, "I told him I'd kept it all these years. Kept it safe."

My half-sister's mother got rid of everything when my sister died. And I mean everything! Nothing was kept and my dad just let her. I think he was in too much pain to really argue about it. She even made sure the kid was buried in Turkey instead of here in Denmark where her family is. I remember it felt like she was erasing the poor girl.

But my mom kept this stupid, ugly, badly painted jar.

Her mom would have thrown it out.

Date: 2014-10-28 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That just hurts my heart.

Date: 2014-10-31 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, nothing was left for her siblings. My older half-sister might have something hidden. I never asked her.

Date: 2014-10-29 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Chicken pot pie way too late at night.

This story is totally heartbreaking. I feel for your dad that he was in so much pain that he let that woman erase his child like that. And I am so glad your mom is a woman of such compassion.

Date: 2014-10-31 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My mother never shows much emotion but she cares a lot. She was just taught never to show it.

Date: 2014-10-30 11:44 am (UTC)
ext_76678: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
The same thing happened in my family in 2009 when my dad died. His sister Mary got rid of everything he owned, within the first week after he died. She even had the walls of his room torn down. I lived too far away to have any influence. The few things I have of my dad's I either got before or were given to me by my adopted Uncle Rusty (my dad's best friend). I still struggle with forgiving her...

Date: 2014-10-31 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's the complete disregard for others that were mourning as well that pisses me off. It was all about her no one else existed. Sounds like your aunt acted the same way.


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