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Truth #3

I've never been kissed.

I guess it's all about me being asexual. But I really don't understand kissing. It seems, to me, to be the strangest thing for anyone to do.

Maybe it's the whole swapping spit thing. Or maybe it's the intimacy of it. I just don't understand it and have never felt the need to do it.
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Truth # 2

MY father has two wives. One he's married to. The other is my mother.

In the early 70's my father came from Turkey to Denmark to work. He was in his early 20's and he was already married. It was an arranged marriage to a girl his parents had chosen for him.

Then he met my mother, she was 16 and they fell in love. But... he's a very religious man and he felt responsible for his wife. She is mentally unstable and seems to be a little manic depressive. So he didn't divorce her.

The result was that he stayed with both women. I don't think my father ever felt he could do it differently, especially after kids came along.

First his wife had a boy, then my mother had a boy. Then it went like this: wife:girl, mother: boy, wife: boy, mother: me!, wife: girl, mother: boy.

My mother would babysit my father's other kids and did her best to provide for them whenever their mother was too mentally unstable to do so.

I was once, for a few months, babysat by my father's wife because my mother had to work. It was hell. She clearly didn't like me and made sure I knew it. I didn't tell my mother because I knew we needed the money she  was earning. 

My mother always paid her own way, my father only paid child support and then a little here and there.

The two families lived apart and my father would rotate between the two families.

I've never understood why my father didn't have the guts to just chose. His inability to decide forced three grown ups to be miserable. I never understood why my mother didn't tell my dad to chose or get out.
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I'm starting a small personal meme where I will post 10 truths about myself.

Truth # 1:

I suffer from dyscalculia. It means I have to deal with the following problems:

  • Difficulty with everyday tasks like checking change and reading analog clocks
I was 15 before I could tell time on an analog clock. I still have to check it several times to be sure I got it right. And don't even get me started on checking change. There's a reason I don't work in a shop.

  • Difficulty with conceptualizing time and judging the passing of time. May be chronically late or early
I am always late. Except for work. I have a very strict morning routine that needs to be followed religiously so I get to work on time. I simply have no concept of how long something takes to do. I live in an almost timeless world where 10 minutes feels the same as an hour.

  • Might do exceptionally well in a writing related field- many authors and journalists have this disorder
I've always had a wild and amazing imagination. I once idled an entire hour of Danish class away by looking out the window and imagining the street lights dancing in the streets.

  • An inability to read a sequence of numbers, or transposing them when repeated, such as turning 56 into 65
Never tell me a phone number unless I have paper and pen to write it down. And also say each number slowly and preferably one single digit at a time.

  • Low latent inhibition, i.e., over-sensitivity to noise, smell, light and the inability to tune out, filtering unwanted information or impressions.
I am slightly over-sensitive to noise. It was much worse when I was a kid and I'd spend as much time alone as I could. I still prefer to be alone because I don't have to keep concentrating on a lot of information all at once. I am very over-sensitive to smell and love the days when my allergies cause my sense of smell to bugger off and leave me alone.

  • Mistaken recollection of names. Poor name/face retrieval.
I have big problems remembering people's names. I know people I've been working with for the last 6 years and I still have no idea what their names are. I especially have problems with people who are blond.
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Today I started one of my 101 things in 1001 days goals.

I colored my first mandala

And I harvested some of my tomatoes :)

Some of them look like tiny butts *snorts*

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Finished writing Equal Rights part 19 today and got it posted.
Took the dog for a walk in the forest.
Didn't rain much today :)

devo79fanfic: (No power)

Today I got all my laundry done, started reading the Buffy comics I got at the library and started writing the next chapter of Equal Rights. I'm feeling better and will be well enough to go to work on Monday.

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1. Watch this video. Smile because it's awesome.
2. Comment on this entry, and I will write something nice about you, a la Hugh Newman.
3. Repost this, including the video, on your own journal. Spread the smiles!

devo79fanfic: (Default)
All about ME! )

Tag anyone you want:)
devo79fanfic: (Default)

So yeah...forgot about the meme *facepalm*

So what have I been doing that made me happy since I posted for day 7?

*finished Small and Scaly
*cleaned my apartment
*showered my houseplants
*did all the laundry
*went for a walk at a local park. Watched the goats headbutt each other =) and the gees take care of their young. The donkeys were running around in the huge enclosure they share with the goats and looked really happy.
*my cucumber plants are growing like...well like fast growing cucumber plants.
*is working on an Accidental fatherhood fic.
*enjoying the great weather.
*and even if I'm home sick because my throat is acting up again I still feel better than I did a week ago :)
*haven't even thought about the "addiction" for so long that I know it won't be a problem ever again.

Life is good...even if I do sound like a drowning frog when I talk.

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Day 6: Worked on Small and Scaly part 17, the last chapter, and that felt good. I'm almost done and it'll feel great to end that story.
There's a surprise in it for you guys.

Day 7:
So I almost gave in to the addiction today.
Almost...but I still didn't let myself do it. I feel ten feet tall and very very good =)

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Today I helped my mother clean her garden.

I worked hard all day long and right now I'm hurting all over but feel great.

My dog had a great day as well. She ran around like crazy, hunting pigeons, eating potatoes we found in the soil and rolling around in dirt.

I had to wash her before we could go home. She was so dirty.

And tired : )

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So today these things made me happy...

Happy =) )
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I didn't really forget to post about day 2 yesterday. I just fell asleep...

Anyway, yesterday I found myself standing at one of the local stores and looking at the thing I threw out on day 1. I was seriously thinking about buying a new one despite the fact that the damn thing (it shall stay unnamed) had ruined the last three-four months for me as I slowly got "addicted" to it and it stole my happiness and time.

I did NOT buy it. I turned around and left the shop. I will not let it win!!!

Today, on day 3 of my happy meme, I was at work when one of my students, a second grader, came up to me and showed me her bandaged finger. She asked if she could go up to the secretary and get some new bandages cause hers were dirty.

Me: Is that really necessary?
Girl: Uh huh, cause if I don't put a clean bandage on it it'll get bactfectious.
Me: What?
Girl: Huh?
Me: Bactfectious?
Girl: Yeah *nods frantically*
*We stare at each other*
Me: Oooohhhhh, you mean that bacteria will get in the wound and it'll get infected.
Girl: That's what I said *gives me the 'are you stupid' look*

I love my job!
devo79fanfic: (Default)
I want to know 28 things about you. Let me know with whom I'm friends!

Click it! You know you wanna =) )
devo79fanfic: (No power)
I've been tagged, I won't tag anyone else. But please do this meme. It can only make your day better :)

1. Post about something that made you happy today.
2. Repeat for eight days.
3. Tag eight people to do the same (or not). Plus whomever wants to play too :)

DAY #1: Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

Last night I managed to end an addiction.
It isn't drugs or alcohol but it was a very time consuming and joy stealing thing.
I took a long hard look at the damn stuff and threw it in the trashcan. Took it into the hallway of my apartment building and threw the bag with the time stealer in the trash chute.

Today was amazing!!!
I felt so damn free and it didn't even require a twelve step program, just one step really: Throw the shit in the trash chute.

I can't wipe the smile of my face!
devo79fanfic: (Default)
Been tagged by Beccers4469

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
B) Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you. (I'm gonna refuse to do it cause I'm a bastard!)

Cause I'm boring... )
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Post an single line extract from each WIP you have (or as many as you want to pick). No context, no explanations, no more than one line.

1) “Angel this…this is nothing!” Xander said and pushed his forehead against Angel’s, “Take it and box it in. Wrap it up and throw it away.” Xander’s fingers were drawing circles on Angel’s back, “You will survive this. Not because it’s the easy thing to do but because it’s the only thing to do.”

2) “Look. It's not like there’s any love lost between me and the donut boy but…this just isn’t right.”
“Spike, I haven’t got a clue what you’re…”
“They have him chained to a wall in the basement.”
“Who’s got him chained to a wall?”
“The watcher and Buffy,” Spike snarled, “Like some damn animal. They won’t put him out of his misery and they won’t give him his soul back…some shite about it being in heaven…”
“I’m sure Buffy’s doing the best she…”
“He’s starving! You telling me that’s the best she can do?”
“Giles knows how much blood a fledge needs, Spike.”
“Right,” Spike huffed, “Then he’s just biting his own wrists for the fun of it, yeah?”

There's lots more but most of it is just bumping around in my head and not on paper yet.


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October 2016



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