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I've had a great summer :)

I've gotten so many things done and had a lot of fun.

I've had my loan changed in the bank so that I'll be done paying for my apartment in 2 years instead of the original 30 years (with 20+ years left to go). That way I can start to save for a house out of town. I'll be done paying for the car in 2 years so I'll be dept free pretty soon :)

The puppy is still a little crazy... cause well... he's a puppy. Almost house trained and knows how to sit and "shake paw". We're starting puppy school tonight and I'm really hyped about that.

I'm going to the garden today and hope there'll be some tomatoes to take home. We've had a kinda cold and rainy summer so the tomatoes have been a little late in ripening. I harvested all the turnips yesterday and dried them so I can save them for winter. I do the same with most of the squash.

Work starts on the 10th of August, thankfully. Having so much time off gets boring after some time.


Jul. 12th, 2015 12:22 am
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Today I've collected my notes on a few fics that I've worked on for a long time but haven't gotten around to finish because of real life.
I'll be reading through them and get them in order so I can actually finish them and post them.

Also, dog update:
He keeps humping his stuffed cow and biting. His teeth are itching like crazy... poor little puppy. I guess he's trying to hump his worries away.
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Mik keeps humping his toys...
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He seems so much calmer than my old dog. He's less nervous and more independent.

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Sorry no pictures :(

But I've picked out the puppy I'm going to take home on the 27th of June and named him.

His name will be Mik.
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I visited the puppies a few days ago and pointed out two puppies I was interested in (I'll only be getting one) but didn't make any final decision because their personalities haven't really started to show yet.

I need a calm and friendly dog because I live in an apartment and I need to trust him around a lot of kids.

But I do have pictures for you to squee over :)

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It'll be a boy and he's in one of these two litters. I haven't chosen yet and won't do that for 2-3 weeks yet.
I'm so freaking happy =)

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After picking my dog up at the vet’s I took her home, walked her and then stayed close to her. I made sure she got something to drink, pain meds and attention. When nighttime came I slept on the floor next to her dog bed. I wanted to be sure I’d know if she needed anything. She had a fever and kept trying to keep cool by moving from one cool spot on the floor to another.

In the morning I gave her more pain meds and then started getting dressed and getting ready. She hadn’t gotten better and I knew I might have to take her to the vet so she could be put to sleep.

She came out, as she normally would, to lay on the floor by the open bathroom door. She always stayed close to me if possible and this day, less than an hour before dying, nothing had change as far as she was concerned.

She got up and started walking into the living room. But her legs gave out and I picked her up and put her on her pillow. She lay down on her side and started having difficulty breathing. I called the vet and told them I was going to bring her there immediately.

Then I called my mom. My mom had no idea the dog was seriously ill so she was very surprised. I asked her to come with me. She said she’d call my dad and he would drive us there. But she couldn’t get a hold of my dad so in the end I carried my dog to the car, put her in the backseat, kissed her and told her “thank you,” and drove to pick up my mom. She sat in the back with my dog.

“She won’t make it to the vet,” I told my mom, “She’s dying now.”

“We were hoping to get to keep you for longer” my mom said to the dog as I drove.

My dog died before we reached the vet.

I left her there, at the vet's, because she was going to be cremated.

After coming home, alone, to an empty apartment, holding my dog’s pillow in my hands… I just collapsed on the floor and cried.

I have never cried that hard before.


This is also the first time I’ve ever lived alone.


All I have to do is make it to the end of June…

It just seems so far away.

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Yesterday... after breaking down... I started finding all my dog's things. Her bed, bedding, leash, toys, food... just everything. I washed everything that needed washing and cleaned the rest. Then I started putting it into bags and boxes and storing it in closets and my basement locker.

The only thing I kept is her collar with her dog tags on it. I put that where I can see it all the time when I'm in the living room.

Today I'm working on making a photo book online of Perle and get that ordered.

And I've started looking for breeders. You might think that it's too soon but in July and August I have 6 weeks vacation and that would be the best time to get a new puppy. And a lot of breeders have waiting lists or already know that they'll have puppies ready around the end of June.

I'm looking for breeders that only have a few dogs and a few litters a year. And I'm looking for these breeds:

Bichon Frisé

Coton de tulear

Bichon Havanais


lhasa apso

Looking forward to the new dog that'll be in my life is the only thing keeping me more or less focused.
I'm going back to work tomorrow.
devo79fanfic: (hug)

It took 20 minutes for her to go from hopefully recovering to dying. And she died on the way to the vet.

As the vet put it "She made the decision."

The vet said to use all the time I needed as he left the room.

I kissed her and told her "Thank you"

11 years, 1 month and 15 days that's how old she got.

And they were good years.

She’ll be cremated and I’ll be getting her remains back in 2 weeks. She’ll be scattered in the 3 forests she loved so much.

devo79fanfic: (hug)
Took my dog to the vet this morning. Thought she'd just ate something that had upset her stomach.

Vet thought it might be her liver giving up... She said we're talking months here...

My best friend is slowly dying and I can't do fuck all about it.

I'm supposed to call the vet at 1 o'clock to hear what the tests say...

I'm honestly afraid of calling.
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I was sitting in my car by the forest. I'd just walked an hour in the forest with my dog, taking routes we'd never walked before and almost getting lost. It was getting dark and I was sitting in my car sharing my lunch with my dog while holding a nice cup of warm tea.

And it hit me that this was a perfect moment.

Me, my dog, the darkness and the tea.

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Today while I was walking my dog she was attacked by a bigger dog.

A boy was walking a big dog and I took my dog to the side and left the whole fucking road between me (and my dog) and the kid and his dog. Still the boy lost control of the dog and it attacked. It bit her in the face and just threw her back and forth while my dog screamed. I grabbed the big dog by the neck and clenched hard and made the dog let go.

The kid said he was really sorry.


Fuck you and your not so little dog.

I did everything to show you we weren't interested in any contact with your dog and you still crossed the street and then lost control of your beast.

My dog got away with "only" tooth marks on her shout and under her jaw.

But that's just because she was lucky and because I did something to stop the attack. The kid just stood there and looked surprised.
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*old mouldy bread
*cat shit
*dog shit
*bird shit
*any food dropped by a child
*any food my brother leaves unattended
*old chicken heads that had been buried in the ground for 5 months
*dead pigeon
*whole cabbage
*rabbit shit
*all the peas still hanging on the plants and in the process sit on all the plants... killing them
*strawberries she steals in my garden
*tomatoes she steals from my balcony

*and now also... fertilizer.

I was spreading the fertilizer pellets in the garden working my way from one end of the garden to the other. When I was half way done I turned around and saw my dog walking behind me vacuuming up the pellets, happily eating away and not paying any attention to me as I tried to make her stop.
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After deciding not to have a child my "relationship" with my dog has changed.

It has always been important to me to allow my dog to be just that... a dog. I never expect from her to have human emotions or to react like a human. I try to give her as natural a life as possible and attempt to give her as much freedom as I can.

She gets to run free whenever we're at the garden and I let her hunt for mice and explore on her own.

But I also knew I was keeping my distance. Trying not to get too attached because I know she has a far too short lifespan. If I'm lucky she'll grow old and maybe reach the grand old age of 15.

I was protecting myself.

Only, realizing that it was me and her for whatever years she has left has made me more connected to her.

I tend to talk to her more and I allow her to fill more of my time.

Maybe she's become a substitute for the child I won't have.

And I'm okay with that, I can see myself having several dogs through my life and giving them the best doggy life I can offer.

I also feel far more happy now than I did before I made my final decision about not having a child.

I actually feel like I might have a bit of writing left in me...
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Woke up to a snow storm:

And my dog's reaction to that:

A bike!

Aug. 3rd, 2012 01:49 pm
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After thinking about it for months I'm going to buy a bike.

I used to have a bike and loved to ride it and go for long trips in the local area.

I'll buy a transporter to hitch on to the bike when I find a cheap one like this. That way I can bring the dog with me. I'll use it when I'm going to my garden and take the dog to the nearest forest a few miles away (too long to walk there and then take a walk in the forest for my ageing dog.)

It won't take long for the bike to earn itself home because I'll be saving money on the gas I'd have used for the car doing the same things.
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My 2 year old niece is very interested in my dog. She calls it Bobby. The dog is not called Bobby but Perle (Danish for Pearl). The dog is actually starting to respond to the name Bobby.

Niece: *yelling at the top of her voice* NO! BOBBY! NO! MINE!
Me: *turns around and sees the dog licking the butter of my niece's bread*

Niece: *spills soda on her dress because she was trying to get at the last bit*
Me: Whoa, careful. Now we have to clean up.
Niece: *turns to the dog and holds up her index finger and looks stern* No! Bobby! No!
Dog: *looks confused*
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Took her to the vet today. Turns out the vet thinks my dog has pyometra. It's a serious infection of the womb.

She's on antibiotics and got a few shots as well. She'll get another shot tomorrow and then a few more after that. It'll be expensive. But honestly... I don't really give a shit about the money. I just want my best friend to get well. After the treatment I think I'll have her sterilized, that would prevent her from getting the infection again.


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